“In part, it’s because the language of gender identity has always been a bit bewildering to me—I’ve felt hungry, happy, gassy, and anxious, but never male or female. Even so, it has been tempting to interpret my experience in ways that separated it from that of other women. This is especially true because cis-gendered women have a distinct tendency to define themselves in ways that don’t include me. I hear women throw out things like, “As women, we all know how important it is to feel pretty,” or “We, as women, are naturally more tender and nurturing,” statements that never seem to include women like me. Not only do I dislike feeling pretty and prefer arguing to nurturing, I don’t even particularly like eating chocolate. Popular culture, and women themselves, often imply that I lack many of the most essential qualities of womanhood.
So in the past I’ve been quite tempted by the idea that perhaps I’m not a woman after all. I mean, I’m masculine in all sorts of ways—I am ambitious, logical, aggressive, strong, and highly competitive. And I’m certainly not silly, frivolous, dainty, weak, or overly emotional … Oh dear. That’s where I run into a major problem, isn’t it? When I start listing traits of mine that I’d call masculine, they’re always positive. They’re points of pride. Whereas when I list traits I lack that I’d call feminine, they’re negatives. It seems I can’t consider my own masculinity or lack of femininity without relying on some of the worst and most pernicious sex-based stereotypes. This suggests to me that the enterprise itself is suspect.”
Lea Delaria
What a diplomatic and eloquent way of putting it. She’s so smart I love this quote.
taking your own advice is so hard. it’s “make bad art” this and “kill your perfectionism” that until i sit down with an idea i like. the i have to execute it perfectly Or Else
saw this massive onion bigger than my entire hand in the produce aisle and immediately snatched it up solely to weigh it and a guy across the aisle asked how much it weighed because he was curious as well and when i told him it was two pounds he excitedly was like “it’s like the biggest one i’ve ever seen..” humanity rocks moment. bonding with strangers over giant onion
it should be 100% legal to go in abandoned buildings. like nobody is using it for anything why can’t i go in
Isn’t this how you get murdered?
no. it’s how you get poisoned by mold or crushed by broken floorboards or whatever but there aren’t murderers just hanging out in every abandoned building like cockroaches
lol imagine if serial killers just spawned from abandoned buildings
They do, but they get poisoned by mold or crushed by broken floorboards or whatever before they can serial kill anyone
Saying “the McDonalds flag at Guantanamo Bay is flown at half mast in order to honor the anniversary of 9/11” out loud and then immediately dying of a stroke
I don’t have children so take this with a grain of salt but I hate when you can tell people like the concept of their children more than their well-being. Parents like the concept of an all-beige nursery that’s photogenic more than they care about the development of their kid’s brain. They like the concept of a cutely dressed kid in designer clothes more than they care about their comfort and personal desires. They like the concept of a child who never eats poorly more than they care about the happiness that can come from a child eating some candy now and then. People need to stop treating their kids like little dolls
Uh, I have kids, and so I’ve spent a lot of time around kids and around other parents, and you are very much on to something.
Whether they have kids because they felt like they needed to or because they wanted an heir or whatever, they don’t actually want to hang out with developing humans. They want the idea of kids. They want the Christmas card and the pictures on the desk and the Instagram picture.
They don’t want the baby screaming for 5 hours straight because it’s too cold out to walk to the store and get more baby ibuprofen for the ear infection on Friday night and your partner has the car. They don’t get that the baby is crying because she’s literally never hurt worse than this in her tiny life, and they don’t get that their toddler has never been sadder than when her favorite toy broke, and that she really didn’t know she would break it if she did the thing she just did. That the 4-year-old is crying because the world is too big and too overwhelming and she has no control over where she goes or what she does most of the time, and that the 14-year-old isn’t telling them anything about her life because they told her ten years ago to shut up or they’d give her something worth crying about, so she knows they don’t value her real feelings, only the ones she’s supposed to have.
And they don’t want to get any of it. And it fucking sucks that people who don’t actually WANT kids feel like they have to have them, or have them to have something smaller than themselves to bully, or have kids as a status symbol. It all just blows, and mostly because:
Kids are people, and most people are actually pretty fucking rad, if given the opportunity to be.
There are a lot of good parents out there, and then there are the parents who had kids because they thought they had to, or wanted someone to boss around, or whatever. And like… even if you thought you wanted kids, you can quickly find out that it actually blows to be a parent in a nuclear family setup, and get really burned out on being a parent. Kids are much better raised by an extended family. That’s how we’re wired. And like… we broke it. We broke it, and it breaks parents and it hurts kids.
i love cutthroat kitchen but bingewatching makes it really stand out how often alton brown refers to himself as ‘daddy’ and makes contestants wear spreader bars
We met Alton Brown at a show he did here - we paid the extra cash to meet him and get a blurry cellphone pic with him and have him sign a picture. He noticed my (male) companion’s pocket watch, and proceeded to order him to take it out of his pocket. It wasn’t obnoxious, it was in a Dom tone that brooked no argument. So he complied. When he found out it wasn’t wound, and so not working, he was deeply disappointed, and told him to do better next time.
If this guy isn’t a Dom, I’ll eat that spreader bar.
THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!
boy it’s me the textiles speaking to you inside your head. you need the yarn. you need thread. your soul hungers to participate in the act of creation. you must feed it. you must buy so many beads.
